Ephesians 5:24 is a tough bit of scripture to swallow, especially if you lack male parts. I contend that women across the globe, and my particular complaint here is against Christian women, fail at this, and if we are honest, they don't even put forth a "C" grade effort at it.
"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." - Ephesians 5:24, NIV, courtesy blueletterbible.org
I've seen lots of people try to twist this around so it says anything but what it says. That, well, unless husbands are like God they don't need to submit. I find it remarkable that when you diagram it, you find that the comparison is not "Church is to christ as wife is to husband" I see "submit is to Christ as submit is to husband" Church (subject) submits (verb) Christ (direct object) wives (subject) submit (verb) husband (direct object) the comparison is the submission, not the subjects. The church submits, the wife submits, the churches submission to christ = wives submission to husbands.
Why do I bring this up? I find in america women are encouraged too much. I am NOT saying that women need to shut up and get chained to the stove barefoot and pregnant. (though accepting at least one of these states may enhance your marriage) I AM saying that a woman cannot do all the same things a man do and also bear children.
But we tell women this, we encourage them to hold masculine traits of strength, toughness, perseverance, bravery. In the end we really give the impression that "Okay girls, you have to hold everything together, it's all your responsibility" This is a lie.
If anything it's about perfectly backwards.
I see americans changing the definition of submit in order to follow this verse. The definition of submit as used here is Webster's first definition. To submit to governance or authority. What I primarily see women doing, even (especially in many cases) christian women, is using the third definition of submit and then following the verse flawlessly on that assumption. Let me read you (well, you'll read it, but I'll put it up here) webster's third definition of submit.
Submit: (v): to put forward as an opinion or contention. This is the WRONG definition, but this is what women are doing. Instead of letting your young husband delight in his children and the wife of his youth, you submit to him that he ought to be doing his homework instead.
Instead of submitting to authority or governance, I see women submitting their opinions and contentions, often in completely inappropriate places.
I'm fairly convinced that marriages die by starting down this path, where the woman is DOING things she shouldn't be doing. Part of submitting to the government is letting them do their job. Submitting to the department of transportation is you NOT going on the road and filling potholes. Submitting to the IRS is NOT going out and collecting your neighbor's taxes. Submitting to the police is NOT grabbing your own gun and slapping handcuffs of your favorite suspect. Submitting to your husband is NOT doing those things that he has said, or the Bible has said, he shall do. If your husband tells you he will do the dishes, the act of submission is allowing him to do the dishes. It is not nagging him to do them on your exact timeframe, it is not doing them for him because he is so busy, it is trusting that he will do what he said on his timeframe.
What if the church took this submission attitude with Christ "Jesus! You're not back yet! it's getting really late, the kids are misbehaving, there are people that need to be judged and you're just not showing up! *sigh* I guess I'll have to clean this mess up myself "
A woman is not to sterilize and stabilize the world, she is not to be strong and tough and persevere. A woman ought to be soft and full of grace and enduring. I'm not advocating that men walk all over their wives, and leave their dirty socks on the floor, and sit before the tv because "they've done their job by putting food on the table" I'm simply advocating that women read the parts of the bible that talk about them and do it, and men read the parts that talk about them and do it, instead of treating your husband like the untrained puppy that needs to be housebroken.
Husbands are meant to be wild. A husband who is housebroken is just plain broken. You train your wolf to sit and stay and roll over and then wonder why he doesn't act like a wolf. Spark isn't there when a man is not allowed to fix the things in his house, even if they don't get fixed perfectly on time.
Most of all all you women are killing yourselves slowly and find it hard to respect your husbands because you refuse to put the relationship ahead of that lightbulb that needs replacing. You say you replace it for him out of love, to be helpful. But you aren't. If you want to be helpful, tell him how strong and tall he is, and watch when he gets up on that wobbly chair and replaces that lightbulb, and aknowledge that yes, he is hot, and yes he is stronger than you, and yes, he would to a better job than you at taking the trash into the dangerous dark alleyway. It's okay for him to be your hero when he does that.
Life isn't a movie. It's filled with little adventures. Instead of being "strong and independant, and unafraid of the boogyman in the dark alley" maybe try being reliant and thankful, and overjoyed that you have a strong man whose deepest desire is to beat the crap out of the boogeyman in the alleyway for you, and mount his head on a pike so all will see that he is Thor, defeater of boogeymen.
If not, have it your way. But I've got boogeymen's heads on pikes. I am Thor the conqueror, and my marriage has more spark than a truck load of flint colliding with a semi filled with propane.
I like it, funny thing was that Pavi and I were talking about this subject yesterday. I will have to tell you about it sometime.
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